A disclaimer first: If you are over the age of 12, have read Marvel Zombies and managed to like it, then I am sorry, but this article isn’t for you. Stop what you’re doing right now. Close the window, open a new one.. hell, play Minesweeper! Just don’t read any further! Thank you.
What do big companies and big franchises do when they realize there’s still a somewhat unexplored, untapped niche?
They attack it straight on, full brute force, thinking ( well, hoping actually ) that their sheer size and awesomeness can make it work. Well, IT CAN’T! Off course, it can bring you a few laughs, fulfill some fantasies..after all, who doesn’t want to see super-heroes from the Marvel universe fight zombies, turn into zombies and so on… RIGHT?!?
Be warned, spoilers are inbound. Although I would not call them spoilers per se, storyline facts that embarrass Marvel and put a shame to the zombie universe may very well be a more accurate interpretation. Here are some links if you’d like to discover & explore the Marvel Zombies universe on your own:
“It started with a flash in the sky, and a ripple through the clouds. The hunger is what brought it here; and feed it did, until the Marvel Heroes were no more. They were replaced by soulless monsters, driven only by an insatiable craving for human flesh.
This is no world of Marvel Heroes. This is the world of: MARVEL ZOMBIES”
Let’s bust the myth of Marvel zombies; they’re not zombies! Just because they drew them with bite marks, wounds and constantly repeat the word zombie doesn’t make it so. This isn’t politics where you repeat a lie a hundred times and turn that lie, no matter how big, into the truth. This is the world of comic books and the holy theme of zombies!
1. They are intelligent! – Everyone who becomes a zombie in the marvel universe doesn’t lose their cognitive powers. WTF?!?
2. Sometimes a wound to the head, even splitting it in half!!?!! doesn’t make the infected go bye bye.
3. The disease goes from bite infections to airborn, from magic to alien virus so many times I simply lost track.
4. The infected can overcome their hunger if they go cold turkey, making it psychological?? – need I say more than this?
5. Ashley J. Williams aka Ash gets killed by a so called zombie – just can’t happen, ok.. JUST CAN’T HAPPEN. (same as fact number 7)
6. The Necronomicon, though mentioned in the series (someone did their homework), doesn’t have anything to do with the outbrake of Marvel poo, nor does it have the power to unmake it.
7. Silver Surfer gets eaten by zombie super heroes. – hmmm NOPE! He’s the Silver Surfer, get it? – got it? – good.
8. Galactus get’s eaten by zombie super heroes. – ok, ok.. that was pretty cool. But still? COME ON!
9. Almost no mention of humans turning into zombies. It’s just the super-heroes that get turned.
10. Dropping names like Romero, Sturgeon and Lovecraft in a piece of shit money making series just sinks you deeper on my shill list – a personal note
Off course, there are some good moments, but 99% of the kudos go to the visual artists of the series. The fights between the super heroes look amazing. But, it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. It’s like the Marvel boys got high, imagined what the zombie apocalypse in the Marvel universe would look like, contacted the screenwriters from Lost to get a few tips on how to irritate people like me, all of a sudden dropped Ash into the pot, along the way managed not to focus on human zombies and after waking up the next day (completely lucid) , forgot to make the zombie apocalypse of the Marvel universe look 5% of what it could have.
A damn shame is what it is.. a damn shame!
For those of you wondering and searching…here is the chronological order of Marvel Zombies:
Marvel Zombies Dead Days
Marvel Zombies vs Army of Darkness #0-5
Ultimate Fantastic Four #21 – 23
Marvel Zombies vol 1 #1-5
Ultimate Fantastic Four #30 – 32
Black Panther vol 3 #28-30
Marvel Zombies vol 2 #1-5
Marvel Zombies vol 3 #1-4
Marvel Zombies vol 4 #1-4
And remember, kids: When in doubt, decapitate!