The Machete

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Dawn-of-the-Dead-Machete

First appearance of the machete in the 1978 “Dawn of the Dead”

The machete is an every man’s tool. Some would try to ridicule it as a poor mans katana sword and those people don’t know what they’re talking about. The machete is one of if not the sturdiest tool in the world. It is made purely for hacking and slashing through stuff, and by stuff we mean everything from a thick rainforest to the bones and flesh of the unwanted dead. And when the zombie apocalypse comes our way,  we’ll all feel like we’re in a jungle, except that we will be surrounded by zombies and not by trees… so yeah, a machete is a good tool / weapon to have on your side :D.

 

This awesome tool can be found all around the world and especially in the southern continents. In South America it is mostly used for various tasks, ranging from clearing jungle territory to being used as a butchers cleaver (meaning it can cut bone… if you know what you’re doing). In Africa it was “introduced” as a weapon in the many ethnic conflicts the continent suffers, due to it being cheap and rather easy to use (unlike a sword the wielder does not require training). Many variations exists in for instance the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia…

 

There are several versions of the weapon currently in use around the world (not counting the ancient Greek Kopis and Makhaira or the Germanic Seax). The known variations are: The Panga, The Two Handed PangaBolo Machete, Heavy Machete, Two Handed Heavy Machete, Parang Machete (the Parang machete is half machete half saber and many say this is one of the most versatile fighting machete), Kukri Machete (Ka-Bar makes the best Kukri machetes) and the all time favorite most recognizable Latin Machete (aka Military Machete).

 

Condor-Latin-Machete

The Condor Latin Style Machete

 

Kukri-Machete

A knife? A Hatchet? An alien weapon?!? NOPE!
THE KUKRI MACHETE! :)

Parang-machete

The Parang machete

Ontario-Military-Machete

The Ontario Military style machete… a good, solid, affordable weapon for your zombie gear. One of the best zombie machetes for sale.

 

The good thing about fighting zombies with a machete is that the machete is a one handed weapon which helps you in many ways: you have one free hand, you have longer reach than say with a baseball bat and if you miss you will not turn around and expose your back (if you do this with a baseball bat for instance there is a chance).  Remember not to hit vertically! Hit either horizontally or diagonally, cause if you miss while hitting vertically you could seriously injure your leg. Use the diagonal attacks to hit the skull and the diagonal attacks to sever the head. The military (latin) style machetes can also be used to pierce the head of a zombie when you get it down on the ground.

Please avoid “multi purpose” machetes like the one’s with the serrated edge. You all ready have a tool that can be used like a knife and like a hatchet.. do you need a saw as well? There is a chance you could loose your machete inside a zombie if the serrated edge gets stuck.

Be careful to choose the right weight and length of the machete for you. The blades of the weapon tend to be generally anywhere from  10 inches (25 cm) to 20 inches (50 cm).

 

Machetes are often not made out of the best available materials and hence the blade gets blunt rather easily. Maintenance of the weapon is relatively simple if you have the proper tools.

 

Sharpener

THE SHARPENER – One of your best friends for the apocalypse. Should be inside EACH AND EVERY SURVIVAL KIT… for anything.

You should sharpen it on a need to do basis, which could mean every single day. Most machetes are not made of special quality steel so they tend to go blunt rather easily and especially with extreme usage ( a zombie apocalypse with its many wonderful difficulties will most definitely provide you with an extreme setting :D ). Anyways, you’re gonna need a good, quality sharpening stone.

 

 

Overgrip-Tape

OVERGRIP TAPE – An essential part of any would be zombie melee combatant. Keeping you and your weapon safe.

Overgrip tape. We’ve said it many times and we’re gonna repeat it again. Overgrip tape is the duct tape of the zombie apocalypse. With overgrip tape you can
easily and in a minute turn ANY weapon with a handle into an even better weapon with a handle :). Now seriously… you’re gonna injure and hurt your hands or even loose your weapon if you do not use this miraculous invention. Most machetes come with a standard plastic/wooden/polyfiber handle and that simply will not do for the zombie apocalypse. Say goodbye to blisters and say hello to a better grip!

 

 

 

 

 

 

If carefully dealt with and regularly maintained, the machete is an excellent weapon for the zombie apocalypse and will be a most helpful tool in many survival situations.

Please comment and share your experience, ideas and thoughts on the machete.

 

Find everything you need on Amazon!

Find everything you need on Amazon!

 

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